Sacred Moments, Part One

  I want to share some moments I have had with my children. Most of these tales will have dates, that is mostly for me, to remember how old they were at the time, to remember the season of life we were in, to remember how small they are; one day I will read this to remember how small they were.

  And one day, when I am less computer illiterate and have more time, I will post pictures to go along with these moments… For now, I trust that you and I have great imaginations and we can manage well enough. ;)

  To begin, here are some thoughts I wrote to all of my kids in a journal in which I planned to write many thoughts for them to read when they were older. To their future relief, I wrote all of three entries in that journal. :) They will find such thoughts for them here now. I was going to begin with funny random stories about them, but I’ll save that for next time; I felt that it was only right to begin with words I wrote directly to them, since I never quite filled up that journal I meant to fill for them.

  Kids, this is for you, in hopes that these sacred moments with you are kept in a place easy for you to find when the day comes that you may want to find them here.

Sept. 15, 2010, Wednesday

  Tonight, your Daddy went to talk with Pastor Shawn and Mr. Seth. Almost right after your Daddy left, I got you all back in bed, after you all got up again :), and I was about to sit down for my own time, but I remembered telling you guys that one night I would let you lay under the stars with me, like we laid under the clouds together a few days ago.

  Tonight, I got Silas, Brooklynn, and Michaela up and we laid on a blanket in the backyard and sang “How Great Thou Art”, “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”, “Love the Lord Your God…”, “Jesus Loves Me”, and “Silent Night” together. Michaela asked a lot of questions, noticing every plane passing overhead, Silas tried to sing every song with us even though he didn’t know all the words, Brooklynn giggled and said sweet things about the moon and how beautiful the songs were.

  I’ll never forget it, kids, and I plan on doing that with you again and again. Promise me you’ll do that alone or with a friend from time to time, too. I love you.

  Solomon, you are 19 months old right now. You were so relieved to go to sleep in your bed tonight. You are my sweet, rotten boy. I can’t wait for you to join us looking at the stars.

  Good night, my angels. You’re my favorite.

  -Your Momma

 Still Sept. 15, 2010

My dear Michaela,

  Tomorrow is your 6^th birthday. It is a big deal for me, more than I know, more than you know. I don’t show it, I enjoy my days with you by being very normal, because this is when/how we make memories we’ll never forget together in the best way, I think. ;) 

  I found a “song”, or maybe it’s a poem, in my notebook that I wrote to you, for you, a few days ago. I was tired from a long day at home taking care of you and your sister and brothers, I was so guilty and sorry and full of shame for the ways I had dealt with you that day, as I have been many days. You and I had had a rough couple of weeks together, and my ways of dealing with you in my impatience and exasperation really got to me this particular day that I sat down to write the words I’m going to share with you. One day I hope you will read this as a young lady or woman, and you will understand all that I’m writing to you now.

  You are my baby girl, you grow so fast, you are God’s gift to me, I cherish all He has given and will give me in you.

  I know I’ve written all of this to Michaela so far, but my thoughts here are ones I think towards each of you, my babies, Michaela, Brooklynn, Silas, and Solomon.

I Can’t Tell You

I’m so easily moved, I readily refuse

What I know is good for me

I justify my attitudes

My selfish ways of getting what I want

Easily angered, ready to risk it all

For myself, for one of my moods

Do I tell you that I’m sorry?

I don’t want to give up on you

My love, my angel

I don’t want to lose your heart

My baby girl

I don’t want to throw away these years

These moments

I’m sorry for how I must hurt you

I know how I have failed you

I can’t let another moment pass

Before I tell you…

…I can’t tell you how much I love you

You were a dream

I still can’t believe I’m watching you grow

You’re so beautiful, My little baby girl

I adore your little world

Your precious reflections, your too many questions

Life has its burdens

God has given me a heaven in your eyes

His beauty in your smile

I thank Him for you every day, and every night

My love, my angel

Beautiful child

I see God’s beauty in your smile

December 24, 2010, 10pm

  All of you are asleep. Your cousins, Kiera and Julianna are asleep, too, they are here with Uncle Jake and Auntie Michelle for Christmas.

  It is Christmas Eve night. I have been learning so much this year. Lately, I’ve been asking God to change me and help me stop yelling at you. I have had a few days that this is really happening! But as I prepared the house to host our family this week, I lost it on you again.

  But it has not taken from us! God brings me, leads me to repentence in my heart, in His kindness and His goodness, and we grow together.

  I’ve been so thankful for how He is helping your Daddy and I teach you about Christmas this year. We have told you of the birth of Jesus, and how and why Jesus came to this earth to save us. You have been so receptive, and I pray you will always be growing in this every year, all through the year.

  I’ve been thrilled to find Veggie Tales Christmas dvds for you that have been helpful to me to tell you what Christmas is really all about. About Jesus! And also helpful, the (modifiedJ) true story of how St. Nicholas was a man who loved God and helped those in need around him because God had given him much, he wanted to share Christ with people and that is why he gave generously.

  It was my desire this year to really shift our Christmas and those to come away from Santa and other things, to Christ and the Gospel. Christmas is a time that we recognize that Jesus is/was the “Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing.”

  O come let us adore Him…

  O come let us adore HIM, Christ the Lord, my dear children.

 

  How can I tell you how much I love you?

  Sharing Jesus and His great love with you is one way, the most important. My ultimate desire for you is to know Him, His love, and grow in the adoration and wonder of Him.

 

I love you-

Your Momma